A Men’s Group Leader asked me, “How do you define victory in this battle? Is it that they will never look at porn again? Most of the guys in my group cannot conceive that they will never again look at porn.” What a great question!


Group Leaders, have each man in your group write down his personal definition of victory. Then spring Ephesians 3:20 on them. The Holy Spirit is able to do more. Not just more. Exceedingly abundantly more. This becomes each man’s lower bound definition of victory in this battle. Yes, a lower bound. But more than each man initially thought he was capable of accomplishing in his own strength.

Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly ABOVE ALL THAT WE ASK OR THINK, according to the power that works in us, To Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen (Ephesians 3:20-21).


The upper bound is Complete Mind Renewal—without ever having to enlist the aid of a flesh-starving accountability partner/group (for my definition of Complete Mind Renewal, see www.wileygrafbooks.com/news/complete-mind-renewal-v6). Complete Mind Renewal without flesh-starving accountability is a specialty of the Spirit (Galatians 5:16).  

I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh (Galatians 5:16).


It is hard for most still-struggling believers to conceive that Complete Mind Renewal is possible from inside their porn pits. But take heart, my Christian brothers. You are not in this battle alone. The Holy Spirit resides within, and He is ready, willing, and more-than-able to provide a way of escape. I am the living proof. I am a Holy Spirit Miracle!

I still find it difficult to believe where He has taken me. From an estimated 10 episodes of “acting out” sexually per month pre-2017, to—as of this writing (March 2024)—nothing in the last 60 months. A Holy Spirit Miracle indeed!


In A Way of Escape, readers are cautioned not to sell the Holy Spirit short. Readers are reminded that He is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that they could ever ask or think (Ephesians 3:20). Readers learn how to renew their minds—not by starving the flesh—but by stepping up the degree to which they “walk in the Spirit” (Galatians 5:16). They learn how to build a library of Spirit-anointed, flesh-diffusing apps. Apps that are uniquely fitted to them, and their unique Spirit-filling triggers (Ephesians 5:18b-19).

The still-struggling now have another option. The still-struggling now have fresh hope for discovering that long-sought-after way of escape from sin and temptation (I Corinthians 10:13). A way that—because it is wholly Spirit-powered—does not require enlisting the aid of an accountability partner or group. Truly, a game-changer!